Harry Potter and The Random Cake
by DaedricMoonPrincess
Summary: Harry Potter has eaten some mysterious Cake, and now he sees glowing juice, homework gnomes, flying frogs, and many other weird things. How will his friends and peers react to this. Can he face this insanity? Luna X Harry
1. Mysterious Rooms, Glowing Juice

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HP

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Summary: Harry Potter has eaten some mysterious Cake, and gnome he sees glowing juice, homework gnomes, flying frogs, and many other weird things. How will his friends and peers react to this. Can he face this insanity?

Chapter 1: Mysterious Rooms, Glowing Juice and Homework Gnomes

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In the random school of Hogwarts, a school for witches and wizards and ex-convicts and murders, Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lives-To-Kick-Voldy's-Butt, was raiding Ron Weasley's trunk, while he slept. "LIKE OMG THERES NO GOOD CANDY IN HERE" shouted Harry tearing through the trunk. Ron rolled over and made a snorting sound but didn't wake up. Realizing that there was no candy there he ditched the trunk and decided to go rob the kitchens of Hogwarts.

He grabbed his cloak and map and then he was off. As he reached the third floor he discovered that there was a mysterious room that had appeared on the map. Curious he searched for the room. He discovered it a moment later. The door to the room was big and blue. The door had a sign that read: "Free CAKE!!!" Harry practically ran into the room. Inside there was a single table with a large blue cake on the table.

Harry ran up to it and grabbed a knife from the table that had randomly appeared. He cut him self a giant piece and munched. He wasn't aware, but a faint blue glow passed over him. He also didn't notice that there where frogs jumping up and down dancing on the table behind him. "Yummy" said Harry as he finished. Stuffed, he left for his dorm. As he laid in his bed, he completely forgot that he had yet to do his potions homework.

THE NEXT DAY

Harry was awoken by a confused Ron. He was wondering why his trunk was open and the contents where strewn about. "What the hell happened" demanded Ron to no one. Harry quietly walked out of the room and made his way down to the great hall. As he sat down in between Ginny and Neville, he noticed that the pumpkin juice was glowing. "Erm why is the juice glowing" he asked. Dean stared at him. "Are you drunk on firewhiskey, the juice is not glowing" he said. Harry continued to stare at the juice. He shook his head and grabbed a glass of water.

After he was done drinking he went to grab a piece of toast, he thought he saw a small creature scuttle by. He shrugged it of as one of the student's cats, and finished his breakfast. As he was about to leave the hall, he heard Hermione mention something. "Potions class is so easy" she said. Harry paled. "OMG MY FUCKING POTIONS HOMEWORK" he screamed, drawing in everyone's attention. "POTTER, DON'T YELL" screamed Professor McGonagall. Harry looked sheepishly and walked out, towards his doom. Potions class. As Harry neared the door, he saw something red and white run past him. He didn't see what it was, but he knew it wasn't a cat.

He looked to see if he could catch a glimpse of it but it was already gone. He shook his head and entered the class. Professor Snape was currently writing something on the black board. Harry sat quietly down besides Hermione. After a few minutes the Potions master started the class. "Every one take out your homework" he said. Harry was mentally beating him self. He was so doomed. Severus walked up and down the isles collecting the homework. When he got to Harry's desk he sneered. "Homework" he said. Harry reached in to his bag and pulled out his half finished homework. The teacher glanced at it and frowned, before adding it to the pile. "Congrats Potter, you managed a perfect essay" he said. Harry stared blankly at him. He raised his hand. "What" he asked.

Snape sneered again. "I said your essay was perfect" he snapped. As Harry was about to faint he saw a small blue gnome thingy appear on his desk. "HOLY SHIT IT'S A BLUE GNOME" he screamed. Every eye turned to stare at him. Draco Malfoy raised his hand. "I think Potter's been smelling the ingredients" he said. Snape quieted him and sent Harry of to the infirmary. When he entered Madame Pomfrey sat him on a a bed and scanned him with some spells. When she couldn't find a diagnostic she frowned. "May I ask what is wrong with you, seeing as I can't find out myself" she asked. "I saw a small blue gnome appear on my desk" he stated. Pomfrey stared blankly at him.

She left the room for a moment and came back with a book. She handed to him. The title read: _The Cons of Drug Use_. Harry stared at the cover. "I'M NOT ON DRUGS, YOU'D OBVIOUSLY WOULD KNOW THAT, THROUGH THOSE SPELLS" he snapped. Pomfrey sent him a look telling him to not talk so long. "Well, I guess you have a cold or something, back to the Dorms with you" she stated. Harry thought her healing methods where in need of some improvement and wandered up to the dorms. As he sat on his bed he saw another blue gnome appear. "AGHHH ANOTHER BLUE GNOME" he screamed. The blue gnome smiled. "Hi! I'm a homework gnome" it said. Only one thing running through Harry's head. WTF!


	2. Demonic Dolls, Talking Trees, and A trip

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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Summary: Harry Potter has eaten some mysterious Cake, and now he sees glowing juice, homework gnomes, flying frogs, and many other weird things. How will his friends and peers react to this? Can he face this insanity?

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Chapter 2: Demonic Dolls, Talking Trees, and A trip to St. Mungo's

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Harry was in shock. "What are you" he demanded. The elf smiled. "I just said, I'm a homework gnome, I do homework" it stated. Harry stared blankly at him. "Okay am I dying or something" he asked. "Nope" said the elf. "Okay" said Harry walking over to his bed he cleared his throat and started screaming. "AGHHHHHHHHHH" he said running around the room. Just the Neville came in. "Bloody Hell mate why are you screaming" he asked putting his hands over his ears. Harry stopped screaming and grabbed the hem of Neville's shirt. "THERES A FUCKING BLUE GNOME ON MY BED" he screamed. Neville backed away. "Harry are you okay, there are no gnomes here" he said looking around. Harry pointed to the gnome who was rummaging through his bag. "IT'S RIGHT THERE" he stated.

Neville cast him a worried look. "You shouldn't do drugs" he told Harry. Harry's eye twitched. "I'M NOT ON DRUGS" he roared. He ranted and unknown to him Neville disappered. When he finally stopped after 10 minutes he noticed that the Longbottom heir had disappered. He looked at the magic clock on the wall of his dorm and realized that it was lunch. "Wow time goes by fast" he stated heading down the staircases. As Harry neared the great hall he decided to skip lunch and visit the library. Inside was the smell of musty books. One of Harry's favorite smells. He grabbed a book on potions and sat at a table

Harry didn't notice but a doll that was sitting on one of the shelves high, high up, not seen by any, dropped off the shelf and landed on his table. Harry was not exactly focusing on the book. He was more worried about his mental sanity. There was obviously something wrong with his head. He made no connection with the cake from the night before. Just then Harry heard a coughing sound. He looked up to see a walking, talking doll. Harry set his book down on the table and stared intently at it for a second, to make sure it was alive. The doll gave a wave. Again, he started screaming. "OMG NOW THERES A FUCKING LIVING DOLL" he screamed. The librarian screamed at him. "GO HALLUCINATE SOMEWHERE ELSE" she screamed. Harry complied and ran yelling into the great hall.

As He entered every eye was on him. ", ANDNOWTHERESALIVINGDOLL" he babbled, confusing everyone, seeing as they couldn't understand what he was saying. Everyone but Dumbledore. Everyone turned to him to see if he could translate. "He said: "omg first there was the glowing pumpkin juice, then there was the homework gnomes that did his homework and now there's a living doll" he said. Every one got more confused by the second and where starting to be creeped out. "That's what I said" shouted Harry. A first year Ravenclaw spoke up. "Erm are you on drugs" she asked. Harry exploded. "I AM NOT ON DRUGS OKAY!?!?! THEIR REAL!! REAL!!!" he screamed running from the hall, leaving Dumbledore to call St. Mungo's.

Harry ran into the forbidden forest without stopping. He finally reached a clearing that wasn't dark or creepy. He stopped for a moment and rested. As he sat down on a rock, he heard a voice. "Hi" Harry looked up and noticed that the tree had a mouth and it was talking to him. "Are you talking" he asked. "Yes" replied the tree. Harry got up and hit his head on a rock. After a couple of moments he blacked out.

3 hours later… At St. Mungo's Hospital

Harry awoke to the murmuring of voices. He could faintly hear them. "..Shows no results… drugs…could be in relapse… or he could… hallucinating…ever it is its weird" said the voice. Harry sat up and noticed he was in St. Mungo's. He groaned and pressed his head into the pillows. He tried to make the voices go away but he could still here them. "…monitors…awake…" came a female voice. Harry heard some footsteps. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Welcome back to earth" came a voice in his ear. Harry looked up and was greeted by a young looking nurse. "You gave every one a scare, you where hallucinating about stuff, and then we found you blacked out in a clearing in the middle of the forbidden forest, with your head split open" she stated reading a medical report. Harry sat up. "How long has it been" he asked. "3 Hours since your outburst, evolving gnomes" she said.

Harry groaned and sank back into the sheets. "Did you find out what's wrong with me" he asked hopefully. The nurse shook her head. "Nope, I was hoping you could tell us" she said. Harry sighed. Just then he saw a gnome appear on the bedside table. "LIKE WHATS WITH THE GNOMES" he stated. The nurse gave him a weird look. "Are you okay" she asked. "Nope, I can see a frigen gnome on my bedside table" he stated. The nurses cast a diagnose spell at him. It came back with no results, other then his current injuries. Harry asked for a glass of water, and the nurse left to get him his request. She came back a moment later. Harry sipped the water and a moment later he was unconscious.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys its me... DMP A.K.A Lady Saniacrea

Anyway horrible news, very recent;y last week my brother had a fight with my father and things happened

well your probally wondering why I'm telling you this but... its because.. sadly my beautiful computer was killed with a shoe during the fight.

You can see how sad I am, anyway I will not be updating for a long while, seeing as its a school computer, and they may not even replace it

anyway every thing is on hiatus but I promise that it will come back eventually. Hopefully

Sorry,

DMP


	4. Chapter 4

Ahem dear faithful readers, six months ago you were made aware of a situation so devastating, you didn't believe it at first... That line seems familiar... I wonder where I heard it? Anyway where was I... of yeah so the monkey and th- whops wrong conversation. Okay So like I mentioned how I would not be able to finish any of my fabulous stories (Harry potter and The Secret of Immortality, being every ones favorite, as I've learned) Well I come to realize that I waste nine hours a weekend at my best friends house, that I might as well start writing fan fiction again. But then something amazing was announced at my house: My mother informed me that: She is getting a computer on Thursday. It's the most fabulous news that I've ever heard.

There's also some other news: I'm starting over Harry Potter and The Secret of Immortality. Reasons: It's disarray, and I have a new idea for the fanfic, it still follows Dumbeldore trying to steal the secret, and the Greek gods, but I have more ideas for it, so I'm going to start over. It's going to be the same name... most likely. Also if you notice that I'm lagging behind on chapters it's because: I most likely installed Oblivion and installed Mods, and/or bought Fallout 3. Being exposed to so much computer is big for me after being without no computer. Also I have school, (OMG I HAVE SO MANY AWESOME COURSES, I HAVE HISTORY UP TO THE SIXTEEN CENTURY!) Anyway the first chapter of the new Harry Potter and The Secret of Immortality will be starting soon. I'll take down the other chapters and replace chapter 1 when I have the first chapter ready (I'm not losing all those views and followers, no freakin way!)

I'll also be starting other fics soon so watch out for those.

Sincerely,

Lady Saniacrea, Daughter of Azura, Daedric Princess of Dusk and Dawn, and Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Insanity,

Daedric Princess of Revenge and Sugar Rushes... Also Known as DMP


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